Since we were in Rome in November, the rainiest month [umbrella?], we inevitably had less-than-ideal weather to deal with for a few [umbrella?] days.
Read part 1 first, wherein your favorite amateur self-published (and self-important) travel writer learns how to bargain with the umbrella guys.
Since we were in Rome in November, the rainiest month [umbrella?], we inevitably had less-than-ideal weather to deal with for a few [umbrella?] days.
Well, no problem, right? Just buy an umbrella from the [umbrella?] multipurpose foreign street vendor guys (MPFSVG)! So, we went [umbrella?] to the Museo Borghese and were caught in [umbrella?] a rainstorm on Via Veneto. I gave Jenny and Jeff a quick rundown [umbrella?] and figured they could handle it from there. "These guys will tell you [umbrella?] the umbrellas are 10 000. Don’t buy one for 10 000 [umbrella?]. Bargain. Have some fun. [umbrella?]"
Just then an old man MPFSVG came [umbrella?] walking past holding... umbrellas!
"Hey! How much?" I asked.
"10 000", he replied ("I’m a genius!", I thought.).
[umbrella?]
"No, that’s too much. 5 000." [umbrella?]
"No" he said [umbrella?] and walked away. Let me repeat that. [umbrella?]
He said "No" and then walked away.
I looked at Jeffrey [umbrella?]. He looked at me. I shrugged and said, ‘Eh, fuck him."
In the meantime [umbrella?] Jenny had gotten the attention of another MPFSVG. I saw her just as she [umbrella?] was wrapping up her deal.
"How much [umbrella?] did you pay for that one?"
"10 000," she answered [umbrella?].
"10 000!!! You’re not supposed [umbrella?] to pay 10 000!!!"
"Well, that’s what he said the price was [umbrella?]!!!"
You’re supposed to bargain [umbrella?] with these guys!! Don’t give them what they’re asking [umbrella?] for it!!"
Sigh... Jeff is [umbrella?] cracking up [umbrella?] and I can barely [umbrella?] contain my laughter too [umbrella?]. Jeff bought an umbrella [umbrella?] from some [umbrella?] MPFSVG and [umbrella?] then all of us [umbrella?] who needed [umbrella?] or wanted [umbrella?] umbrellas [umbrella?] [umbrella?] had them [um[umbrella?]brella?] [umbrella?] [umbrella?].
We went to across the river to Trastevere (which makes sense, since that’s what "trastevere" means). We visited Santa Maria in Trastevere, which was closed. We decided to sit at that overpriced-let’s-get-the-tourists-for-as-much-as-we-can bar on the piazza. You know the one, the one with orange tablecloths and a big pile of oranges in the tree planters in front. It looks suspiciously like the picture on the left.
We ordered our too-expensive-by-three-or-four-times sandwiches and Cokes and were enjoying the hang when we heard, "Hello!"
We looked up and saw this 2 meter+ tall black guy holding up carved wooden animal souvenirs. They were of that typical African style - elongated limbs and necks, dark wood, highly polished. They looked nice. Mass produced, but nice.
"I have souvenirs for you! Very nice!"
I sighed quietly. I really hate this. Why can’t I eat my too-expensive-by-three-or-four-times sandwich in peace? Why must I fend off a constant barrage of this sort of thing? Oh yeah, I remember. I’m a rich American tourist lamer and they can spot me a mile away. I really am sorry I didn’t get to live in Rome for Astrolink now. That way I’d be mistaken for a stupid German tourist instead of an American one, maybe.
"Those are African," I reply.
"Yes!" Big smile on the guy now. "I make them myself!"
"We are in Italy."
"Yes, I am African! I make them!"
Well, no shit. You could have fooled me on that one. Africa! You don’t say!
"We buy Italian things when we are in Italy. We buy African things when we are in Africa."
"Oh... yes...?"
"Yes. Thank you. Good bye."
"Thank (I think it was "Thank". It sounded like "Thank". I want to believe it was "Thank.") you." He walked off.
I actually felt bad for the guy. But then I remembered that if I’d shown even the slightest interest I’d never have gotten rid of him and there’s no way he made those things himself anyway and I would have had to bring the stuff home and besides, my home décor is more like early surf bachelor dude computer geek than High African animist art anyway.
So, I finished my too-expensive-by-three-or-four-times sandwich and my Coke. It wasn’t too bad.
Here are the photos.
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